Friday Night. Beh.

It's nearing ten o'clock on this wonderful Friday night and I want to sleep so badly. I slept a total of 4.32 hours last night. I kept waking in fear that Benjamin wasn't breathing- a little over exggerated, I know. Finally the alarm went off at 6:30 and I just got up. I don't normally wake this early, but I wanted to get all the laundry done before the weekend and trying to do anything for longer than 20 minutes which doesn't involve Benjamin on my hip is nearly impossible these days. So there I was at 6:30 doing laundry while my sweet boys slumbered peacefully. I sucked down a large coffee by 8:00 am and then another by 10:00. Yep, that ought to have kept me going. Crash and burn! At noon I was almost begging for a nap with Benny.. but I sucked it up for there were things to be done!

Since Johnny had such a sucessful week at work, all of the staff went out tonight after night class. Pft. I shouldn't change a shade of green since this is his first time out on the town without me in over a year. I however, had the pleasure of hippity hopping with my gal pals quite a few times.... even while pregnant and driving their drunk butts around. Anyway, back to Johnny being out.... he deserves it! He is actually out to appease more of the politics, but nonetheless, he should losen his tie a bit. God knows he has worked his butt off during the last month. This week proved that it didn't go unnoticed! I want him to enjoy himself although the very human and selfish part of me wishes that we had a babysitter more than just once a quarter, and I could be out with him! I don't want to be out to drink... I've nearly lost that entire desire, but more so to engage in discussion other than squeeky baby voices!

I find myself defending everything that I have just said. Let me clear this up... I do not mind spending 99% of my life doing mommy and baby things and talking in high pitch variances. It is why I have chosen not to go back to work.

Ok, so Johnny is out. I am tired. Ah-ha.... the kicker! I cannot sleep without him here! I never do! I put Benjamin to sleep on the sofa.. I closed my very very tired peepers and... nothing. I counted over 100 fat little jumping sheep.... nothing. I concentrated on my heart beat.. then Benny's.. NOTHING!!!! I am so miserably tired that I am writing this blog and hardly keeping my eyes open, but when I purposefully try to close them.. ZIIIINNGGGG.. I'm AWAKE!

On this lovely Friday night there are girls just like my old self shaking their skantily dressed booties to the sound of music which I dare not even think about or I'll never slumber, and all the while I just want to snooze. There is a whole world out there staying awake on purpose! Bah.. I curse them! Who ever would have thought?