Bittersweet Endings

We finally got Benny's crib and put it together (Thanks Jerome!) this weekend. It looks so nice and inviting if we can get Benny to actually sleep in it! I am excited by the prospect, but I know it will take some trial and error to get him to sleep without me. I am going to keep trying! That wasn't the point of this blog though. The point is, since his crib is put together, there is no need for his cradle anymore. There really hasn't been a need for it lately since he hasn't slept in it in quite some time, but I have kept it placed securely next to my side of the bed in the event that a miracle took place on Rockefeller Lane (our house) and Benny decided to sleep in it! Anyway (it's late and I'm tired so I'm trailing off!) after our company left this morning, Johnny and I went to town cleaning our place up and I headed for the closet to make room for.... yep, Benny's cradle. Our room is too small for both cradle and crib, so I asked Johnny to dismantle it and up in the closet it would go!

The point of this blog: I walked into the living room and saw the little wooden cradle taken apart, and I had to hold back my tears. This scene screamed that Benny is growing so fast. Becoming nostalgic with every passing second that I stood in front of the brokendown cradle, I retreated to the bedroom and folded all of his little baby clothes that no longer fit- like the ones that he wore in the hospital. I know that every day is a gift with our little one and I am so glad that I have had in my life for 4 months now! Yes, he just turned FOUR months on Saturday! But at the same time, I am sad by how fast time is flying by. It won't be long before Benny is standing in his crib!

So the little cradle is all packed up and who knows when or if it will be used again. I guess that is a part that shook my insides as well. I have been struggling with the idea of whether or not we are supposed to have more children, and if so, when? The thought of never using the sweet little cradle again means not having a little tiny newborn again.

So today was bittersweet by the fact that yes, the cradle is no longer needed, and time is moving so fast, but sweetened by the start of a new chapter. I'm always excited to see what new things Benny can do each day, and I study him so closely since we spend so much time together. It often isn't until I look back that I see how much he really has grown!

I'm guessing that these little moments of what may seem so minescule and irrelevant to others will continue to fill my life in a huge way now that I am a mom.... everything regarding my little darling seems like such a big deal!