Life According To Lindsey

I haven't posted in a few days nor have posted about whats been going on with me (besides the total obvious motherhood thingie that I'm rocking) in quite some time and while dinner is cooking I thought I'd write a bit.

First things first... I'm amazed that nearly three months have gone by since I gave birth. I know that I say this all the time, but Benny is growing so fast. He is already starting to fit into some of his 3-6 month clothes. This means that he isn't a tiny baby anymore. This means that life is moving fast..which when I spend too much time thinking of it, I get overwhelmed and sad. I don't ever want life to end.

Onto brighter subjects though... I have had a revelation. It wasn't overnight, but something so strong that it makes total and complete sense. I have always known that I would make a wonderful accountant and the majority of my schooling has been business related except for those early major changes that happened so frequently that I almost forgot what I was studying. Accounting come naturally to me. Business does for that matter. I've enjoyed crunching numbers and feeling the burn of pressure. I've liked making sense of something that to the untrained eye makes no sense at all. But I've never LOVED it. I've loved some jobs that I've had. I've loved a few of the enviornments and quirky people, but I've never felt a true calling. I've always just "done" it for the paycheck sake and because it has always been "easy". Over the years I have challenged myself to find something more that I would be passionate about as an occupation, but I was always left empty handed.

For those of you who know my mothering life, I LOVE breastfeeding. I fought to make sure that Benjamin and I succeeded during his early days of life. I educated myself as much as possibe before he was born to ensure that I was ready, and I geared myself for the worst. I told the nurses NOT to give Benjamin a bottle after he was born-no exceptions, and when Johnny had no choice but to bottle feed while I was in recovery, I was so torn. Luckily, Benny and I did succeed, but not without trial and error, determination and a lot of support from Johnny and my close friends and relatives.

There were many times that people would say to me "why don't you pump and give him a bottle?" I always wondered why one would suggest that. I felt and still feel that there is no reason at all that Benny should drink from a bottle (which he doesn't know how anyway) if I am within reach. Breastfeeding has had it's moments of frusteration, but bottle feeding not only defeats the purpose, it is much more of a pain to prepare.

Aside from the convenience of nursing, I have loved giving my child the best possible, nursing has helped me lose nearly 60lbs (yes, I was huge) in less than three months and all the while creating this bond that soothes not just Benny, but me as well. When I am absent from nursing (which is VERY rare), I miss him and miss nursing him.

So since I have truly loved (and I mean LOVED) nursing B, I have had to think about why others have not had similar experiences and I honestly believe that it boils down to education. After saying all of this, you m ay be wondering what in the heck my point is. Well, I;ll tell you. I have finally found my calling. I have finally found my passion. I want to educate about breastfeeding. I have never felt so strongly about a calling in my life.

Now, this isn't exactly a part time hobby. This is going to require quite a bit of time (2000 clinical hours) and a whole lot of education. It seems simple: baby to boob, baby drinks and viola. NOT SO!!!! So in 2009 I will embark on a new journey. One that will not necessarily bring me a huge financial gain (as business might have), but something more. I will begin my journey of passion and hopefully make a difference in the lives of women who seek the same awesome and precious experience that I have had as a breastfeeding mother.