Humility...its more than just a word.

It's really late and I am really tired but I am consumed by "shopping cart abandoning". As soon as I fill up an online shopping cart, I dump it all out and go onto the next web page. I've been doing this for over an hour now. I promised Johnny that I would be coming to bed, but this online shopping thing and writing this blog are preventing me! It isn't just online shopping that I keep "cart abandoning". I did it twice last night in real stores. I have found "perfect " items at "perfect" prices but I always make an excuse. I can't seem to spend the money unless Johny is an accomplice... which starts to lead me to the point of this blog.. really, I do have a point..somewhere!

Johnny stopped working his second job the week before Thanksgiving. At first I panicked but soon after a sense of calm took over and I thought that while the lay off was at an incredibly inoportune time right before the holidays, I was glad. I still am.

When I found out I was pregnant both Johnny and I were working full time. We made every effort to pay off all debts and save save save for our move back to California and to cover expenses while Johnny was looking for work. During our first two months back in California, Johnny adn I had numerous let downs from job prospects. This humbled us. I prayed that Johnny would "just find a job".. and I didn't care how much money he made as long as our basics were provided. Then, the door opened. He found a great job in a great location. He commuted back and forth from LA each week and next I prayed to just get me through my pregnancy and be together as a family in LA. It happened. Johnny and I remained patient and when we fell out of line, we reminded each other that good things would come to us if we remained humbled. But somewhere down the line we started to lose sight of this. Once ours prayers had been answered, we started being a little greedy. We wanted more than "just being together". When Johnny was laid off we were put back in our places and it didn't take long to realize this. There is no amount of money that is worth missing out on Benny's day to day growth. There is nothing worth working 13 hours a day, being exhausted, not giving anything in life 100% and having family placed on the back burner-all in the name of money.

I thought we would struggle but we won't. Being humble reminds me that all we need is our basics... and the basics are very basic. Johnny is home everyday. He teaches a morning and a night class so he spends each afternoon with us. It makes things like grocery shopping and laundry a bazillion times easier. I escape the boys for a few minutes each day to soak up some fake sun (which is my FAVORITE indulgence and I'm not afraid to admit it) and I return home refreshed! We sit down and eat as a family again! We get to jog together now! And the second set of hands with a 2 month old feels like a million bucks! I don't mind being reminded to get back in line. I knew the sacrafices I would make both financially and career wise when we decided that I would be a stay at home mommy for a while. The smile on my face each afternoon when Johnny walks through the door tells me that prayers are answered and I shouldn't take advantage of the fact. I prayed for my family, and I have it....no frills needed.

As a side note, Johnny was offered a part time position today in a second job again.... it was a good feeling to know that he is desired, but I think we both know what the answer to the offer should be.... we didn't just go through all of this for nothing!