Will this baby ever come out?????

I had my weekly doctor appointment on Friday with Dr. Cano and only gained 1/2 lb which was exciting, but what was more exciting was that after checking my cervix, he informed me that I was 2 cm dialated!!! He also said that my cervix was very soft-and from what I understand, this is a good thing for women who want to deliver! I left his office elated and daydreamed about the birth and all the little details. All of the women in my family promised that I would be "just like my mom" and deliver fast and most surely by the end of the weekend!!!

Johnny raced home early on Friday with the idea of the impending birth of our son very soon around the corner. He didn't teach his night class or make it to the pharmacy. He let everyone know of his well prepared lesson plans and that he would not be back on Monday and possibly Tuesday! Well, here it is almost 48 hours after my last appointment, and I feel like I am going to pop, but I don't believe there has been any change inside of my body, and Johnny has to go back to work tomorrow.

I slept very very little on Friday night due to trying hard to count the time between contractions. Unfortunately I either dozed off or the contractions were impossible to time because of irregularity-both in time and strength. This is a very frusterating situation as any woman who has given birth well knows. At this point in my life there is nothing that I wnat more than to go into active labor-especially trying to time all of this while Johnny is still home. It is an impossible task to control.

Saturday morning I woke and stood and had a gush of fluid leave my body uncontrollably which sent excitement through my blood! Had my water broke and I would be on my way??? Johnny and I got our things together and went to the hospital. It was determined that my water had not broke at all, and what I thought was a burst of amniotic fluid was more than likely just a case of incontinence from all the pressure!!! Talk about a let down. I still held hope that maybe my body was doing it's job over night and my cervix was opening enough to be kept in the hospital. Again, to our disppointment, I was told that I was still dialated at 2 cm. No change!!!!!! I got to lay in bed for an hour and was then sent home.

Still determined that I would have this baby by the end of the weekend, Johnny and I spent 2 hours walking through Target last night. It left me very tired and I had finally got wonderful sleep. My contractions still are irregular and I am almost consumed by back pain which I really want to believe is one big disguised contraction. I'm not so sure that I am correct though.

So tonight Johnny will leave at his usual 8pm time frame, and I will be left in Dinuba wondering how quickly he can get back should the need arise before next weekend. I was positive that I would have delivered by now, so attempting to put another time frame on Benjamin's arrival would only mean setting myself up for a let down.

As I laid in bed last night I thought about the lesson that I have been learning all summer-patience. Perhaps this is another was of enforcing the lesson and preparing both Johnny and I for the extreme amount of patience that we will need as parents.